


The Despair of Kazuichi Soda

by Ajuaju



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Humor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Gore, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Post-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Build, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-08 01:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15920088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ajuaju/pseuds/Ajuaju
Summary: Kazuichi awakens after the Neo World Program incident, and is struck with guilt for what he did as a Remnant of Despair. He wants to shift the blame onto Junko, but his conscience tells him otherwise. Meanwhile Hajime is helping awaken the rest of the class, and everyone is trying to work out how to make the best of their situation.





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This will mostly stick to canon and fit in-between DR2 and DR3: Future. The main divergence is that Junko doesn't brainwash them with a video, and instead actually uses her talent to convert them into her despair religion. Everyone also won't wake up instantly, and will do so one-by-one over a series of months. Oh and Kazuichi will stop idolizing Sonia and learn to understand her as a person.
> 
> WARNING: There are violent scenes, mainly in flashbacks to their time as remnants of despair. I'm not an amazing enough writer to make them too graphic, and they won't be the main focus, but please turn away now if you're easily disturbed by that kind of content.

Shrieks of pain and loud sharp cracks filled the air, accompanied by the pungent metallic smells of blood and gunpowder. Walls of concrete etched with a deep crimson red graffiti surrounded rivers of thick red liquid, hiding cries and wails in their creases. Each series of rattling cracks lead to the sudden silence of the cries, and the cruel sounds of flesh squishing and splattering. Sickening smells of rot and death soon followed, and sometimes faint moans and howls of loss and grief could be heard among the chaos - succeeded yet again by another repeat of the barbaric cycle. 

Upon first sight, one might assume that this was a battleground of cold-blooded malevolence and cruelty, born from the ignorance of a war of ideals. They would be correct in their assumption, and yet also horribly wrong. For this was not a battleground of anger, nor one of hatred, nor one of vengeance. No, the ones who caused this scene did not cling to noble ideals, or desire an outcome that would satisfy their greed, lust, pride, envy, wrath, sloth, or gluttony. They made no declarations or demands, and only desired one thing from the ones they declared war against.

It was a deluge of despair-inducing despair. For despair, by despair, from despair. A despair to squash all hope, and invade the hearts of all it set its sights upon. And in the centre of this despairful scene stood a figure with punk hair, a jumper that went down to the ankles, and an enormous machine gun-like contraption. They were followed by a trail of a deep, deep red, which lead to their own gruesome blood-covered body. They began to wail.

It tore at his heart to see the hundreds of innocent corpses that lay before him, none of which deserved such a heartless and cruel fate. It was an act of pure evil – and worst of all, he was the perpetrator. Kazuichi Soda, a genius mechanic that only wished to help others with his creations was instead using them to slaughter innocents by the thousands. His heart was filled with such powerful despair, despair greater than he had ever felt before - and he could no longer contain it. With the entirety of his very being, he let out a great shout.

“This despair is goddamn freaking awesome!”

* * *

Kazuichi let out a high-pitched shriek, and thrusted his arms into the air. However, all that came out was a string of bubbles, and his hands gently touched the solid surface above. They were no match for the resistance of the blood that he was drowning in. He was going to die, soaked in the blood of his victims. He was terrified. Or was that really the case? After fully regaining consciousness, he realised that it wasn’t blood and concrete, but just clear liquid and glass. With a sudden click, the liquid drained away, and the glass opened. His vulnerable body shivered as the sensation of waves of air engulfing him - it had been a while since he last experienced this. And then it all came back to him.

“That’s right… the killing school trip. We were trapped in that stupid program, because of Monomi… but we beat Monokuma and escaped, and-”

Suddenly Kazuichi reached a realization, “wait a second, Miss Sonia! And everyone else! Did they escape too?!”

He attempted to leap out of his pod, but his muscles were not up to the task, frantically wriggling like snakes at the slightest bit of pressure.

“Crap, when did I last use these things? Why won’t they work now of all times!”

Frustrated, Kazuichi resorted to pushing his back against the side of the pod, allowing him to stick his head slightly over. Beyond the confines of his pod lay countless others, emitting a discomforting glare of neon green light. The room itself was surrounded by a sea of dim red and blue lights, making it difficult to see anything beyond the strange silhouettes of futuristic contraptions crowding the room. He made a mental note to investigate and dismantle them at a better time.

“Hey, anyone there? Um, Makoto wasn’t it, ya listin’? Stop playing games and help a guy out here, please!”, Kazuichi cried out, starting to panic. Did those guys from the Future Foundation abandon them? Was anyone else going to wake up? Would he be stuck here forever, trapped until he starved to death? Kazuichi began to sob, crouching back down and burying himself deep into a ball.  
After almost completely hiding his head in his knees, he quickly shot back up. It was faint, but he could hear the shuffling of footsteps in the distance. They seemed to be coming from the other side of the wall; it was probably a door. Immediately confirming his conclusion, it slowly began to creak open. From the void of darkness, a shadowy silhouette emerged, barely illuminated by the weak lighting. It started to approach the frozen Kazuichi. As it came closer, he was able to distinguish some features: dark pants, some kind of brightly coloured shirt, and maybe a tie? Based on the smooth long dark hair, he quickly concluded that it was a girl. Probably that Kyoko girl, looks like he’d struck lucky by getting the cute smart one.

Or not. After getting an even closer view of the figure, there were two features that made Kazuichi recoil back in shock. Firstly, the hair wasn’t just long – it was absurdly long, almost touching the floor. It was also unnaturally stuck into place, barely avoiding tripping the figure up at each step. But the truly terrifying part was the eyes. The right eye was a mesmerizing bright green, and the left eye was a glowing bright red. Etched into both was an odd target radar pattern, seemingly piercing right into him. It was something not human, and it completely froze him in place – not that he was capable of escaping anyway.

“D-Don’t c-c-come a-any c-c-c-closer…”, Kazuichi fearfully stuttered, barely able to make a sound. But the figure wouldn’t listen – it kept walking forward without any hesitation. He knew he was done for.

“I wish I could’ve seen Miss Sonia one last time”, he thought regretfully. “Maybe I’ll find another beautiful blonde princess in my next life”. Inspired by his fantasy, he managed to work up a slight amount of courage, and fearlessly faced his attacker - or at least he pretended to.

“I-I’m not scared, M-Miss Sonia and I are destined to reincarnate for all eternity, s-so it doesn’t matter if I d-die. Y-You’ll never b-break our unbreakable bond!”

The figure paused and frowned.

“What the hell are you going on about Kazuichi?”

To his surprise, it was a familiar voice. It didn’t fit the imposing figure in front of Kazuichi, and didn’t sound malicious. A lightbulb sparked in his head.

“H-H-Hajimeeeeeee?!”

“Yeah, it’s me. What were you expecting, a ghost?”

“Freaking hell man, why didn’t you say anything earlier? I thought my engine was about to die out!” He took a closer look. “And since when did you grow Rapunzel hair? Did your pod mess up, or are you into that kind of thing?”

The not-actually-all-that-dangerous Hajime responded with a sigh. “It’s… a long story, but basically the experiments gave me rapid hair growth, and I never bothered cutting it. Don’t ask why.”  
“Experiments?! You mean we were exp- “, Kazuichi almost exclaimed, before more memories flooded back into him. “Ohhhhh right, you’re also that Izuru Kamukura guy that the messed-up bitch wouldn’t shut up about. That makes sense then…” he said before suddenly recoiling back again. “Wait a second doesn’t that mean you’re- “.

“Um, I can guess what you’re about to say, but no, not really”, Hajime interrupted. “I’ve only been awake for a few hours, and I don’t really remember much, other than what happened in the simulation.”  
“Nononono, it’s still crazy dangerous! You could remember everything at any moment, and kill us all! I bet that left eye of yours can shoot lasers, you Ultimate Superman!”

“Erm, I think you’re taking this all-talents thing too far here. And besides, you could say the same about yourself, right? We all have a ton of memories we’re better off forgetting.”

Images from Kazuichi’s nightmare flashed back into his head. The deep red blood, the smell of rot, the wails and cries; he almost gagged at the thought. “Y-Yeah, I guess you’re right…”, he said, dazed.  
Hajime immediately noticed Kazuichi’s change in demeanour, and thought it would be best to change the topic. It wouldn’t help to force memories out, lest they arrived at the worst-case scenario. He didn’t want to think about that. “Anyway, you’re the first to wake up, other than me. It looks like Sonia, Fuyuhiko and Akane won’t take too long to wake up either, according to Kirigiri. As for the others, well, it’s more uncertain, but the possibility still exists. At least we can hope so.”

“Then we’re going to make that possibility a reality. Because that’s the future we’re going to create, right?”

Hajime smiled. He might still be his cowardly and drama queen-like self, but the pink-haired mechanic had grown since Hajime first met him. “Yeah, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” Maybe he was even on track to moving on from his obsession with-

“But seriously, who cares about them! We need to check on Miss Sonia right now. When she gets a kiss from her destined love, she’ll awaken in an instant! I can already hear her whispering: ‘Kazuichi Soda… my hero… p-please save me from this eternal sleep’. Oh, Miss Sonia, I’m coming to save you!”

Hajime sighed. _"I guess old habits die hard, huh…"_


	2. Another Self -Distortion-

Eventually, Kazuichi recovered some strength, and managed to escape the cramped pod. Thankfully due to the state-of-the-art technology used by the Future Foundation, their muscles were regularly stimulated to avoid atrophy. To be safe Hajime offered crutches, which Kazuichi reluctantly accepted after multiple failed attempts of walking freely. After tearing apart his hug with Sonia’s pod, Hajime helped Kazuichi out of the room, and out of the building. 

Squinting his eyes, Kazuichi observed his surroundings. The building he had exited was a small concrete facility surrounded by a barbed metal fence, holes protruding indiscriminately. It reminded him of an abandoned military base – likely intentional to avoid attention. Beyond the building lay numerous similar structures, separated by shrivelled trees spread apart across a lifeless wasteland. The sky was an ominous crimson colour, dimming the sun’s light. For a moment, he thought he caught a whiff of fresh sea air – though it was quickly overwhelmed by a putrid smoky stench. 

“Th-this is…?”

“The real Jabberwock Island. Or what remains of it after The Tragedy.” Byakuya walked towards them, with Makoto and Kyoko trailing behind. “I hope you’re pleased with what you’ve done.”

Kazuichi opened his mouth to respond, but then slowly closed it with a troubled sigh. He found no words on his tongue – with no time to organize his thoughts, the reality of his situation had failed to sink in. The possibility, no, the _fact_ that they were Ultimate Despairs. That _he_ was an Ultimate Despair. It was as if he was in the audience of a disturbing film, only to see the screen slowly invade his reality. The Kazuichi in his dream was like a completely different person, and he should be a completely different person. After all, Kazuichi Soda was just an innocent victim. It wasn’t his fault if he didn’t do it. Those memories couldn’t belong to him.

But even these thoughts weren’t able to deny the unbreakable truth that Kazuichi knew deep in his heart.

“Byakuya, you shouldn’t say things like that. They only woke up a few hours ago…”, said Makoto, attempting to block Byakuya’s cold glare. 

“I see the heir to the great Togami family isn’t above bullying recently awoken coma victims.” Kyoko gave him a smug look.

“Heh, I don’t quite think the concept of ‘victim’ applies to serial killers.”

“Hey, Byakuya! Don’t say that – it wasn’t their fault they ended up like this. Junko’s terrifying ability to spread despair is the reason all of this happened.”

“It’s fine”, said Hajime, “there isn’t any point in blaming Junko Enoshima for everything. We need to take responsibility for our own actions.”

“Hmph, good luck with that.”

“Byakuya…” 

“Anyway, we have more important matters to discuss”, Kyoko intervened. “To be blunt, we can’t offer any support beyond this. The Future Foundation’s ‘calls’ for us are now essentially threats, and we cannot ignore them any longer. If we fail to depart by this evening, the possibilities…” Kyoko paused and glanced at Makoto, “well, they won’t be anything good.”

“W-wait”, Kazuichi blurted out, “then what are we supposed to-”

“No it’s fine, I understand - please don’t concern yourselves over us. Kazuichi and I can stay, and handle preserving the others until they awaken. The combined talents of everyone will be more than enough to handle any problems we may encounter. I believe we have a 99.998% chance of survival after analysing the situation.”

Midway through speaking, it seemed as if Hajime’s voice had become robotic and monotonous, and his face completely devoid of emotion. However, it was so brief, Kazuichi assumed it was his imagination. After all, Hajime wouldn’t act like that.

Kyoko didn’t seem to notice anything though – or at least nothing broke through her stoic expression. “I see. I still feel guilty for abandoning you all so suddenly, but there’s no other choice. I hope we will be able to justify our position to the Future Foundation, although”, a hint of worry appeared on her face, “I fear it will not be easy.”

“Those fools have been far too consumed by their lust for revenge to assess the situation rationally anymore. I’m almost impressed by how far ahead Junko Enoshima planned after her death, heh.”

“Don’t worry Kyoko and Byakuya! I’m sure they’ll understand if we do our best – at the end of the day, we all share the same ideal of rebuilding the hope that was lost in The Tragedy.”

Makoto’s words seemed to ease some of the worry on her face. “Yes, I suppose that is a point in our favour.” _He really is the incarnate of hope, isn’t he_ , she thought, a hint of a smile appearing on her face. _However I’ll have to make sure his naivety doesn’t trip him up and let others take advantage of him. I need to continue supporting him, so when this is finally over we can…_

“Your baseless sentiment is wonderful and all, but don’t we have an issue of higher priority to resolve? We’re not going anywhere fast in our current state.”

A bulb lit up in Makoto’s head. “Oh of course, I completely forgot about that. Our boat still needs fixing from the damage it took when we arrived.”

“Yes, exactly. We were waiting for the Ultimate Mechanic to wake up in order to fix it,” Byakuya said, turning to face Kazuichi expectantly. “At least make yourself useful enough to return a ten thousandth of the resources we invested in you.”

Kazuichi’s downtrodden face immediately lit up with excitement. “Ooooooo, lemme give this a go!”

* * *

“Disgusting.”

That was the first word that came to mind when Hajime discovered Kazuichi cuddling and sliding his fingers all over the grease-covered engine of the boat.

“A-a-a-a real engine! I-It’s finally a r-real engine! I-I-I-I’m so h-happy.”

Hajime’s eyes drilled into him with total contempt. “You weren’t, erm, joking when you said you love tanks. That’s definitely a fetish.”

“Hey, it’s the first time I’ve seen one of these in forever man”, retorted the offended Kazuichi. “It’s like meeting that childhood crush for the first time in five years – you just wanna feel them all over.”

“I’m not really sure if that’s as normal as you think it is. I hope you’re not planning that with Sonia.” 

“That’s low man, I’d never do that to Miss Sonia! Well… as long as she didn’t consent to it at least.”

“Thank god she never will.”

Hajime returned to the facility to continue progress on awakening the rest of Class 77. Sulking, Kazuichi turned back to the engine and continued examining it. After a single glance, he had immediately began assessing the damages and formulating a plan to efficiently deal with the problems before the evening. An ordinary mechanic would have needed at least a few days, but Kazuichi Soda was no ‘ordinary’ mechanic. Grabbing his tools, he began to speedily tinker away. While he did prefer creating machinery from scratch, it wasn’t that he found fixing it boring. Rather, it was so ingrained into him after more than a decade of practice, his muscle memory did the job for him. A slightly bashed up boat engine was child’s play compared to some machines he’d managed to fix. _Clang_. The hypnotic sound of metal rhythmically clashing continued. _Clang_. _Clang_. _Clang_. Kazuichi’s mind began to drift off.

* * *

Everything was enshrouded in darkness. The only sounds audible were the squelching of mud, the creaking of the ground, and a faint but clear snicker. _Squish, squelch, squelch_. Footsteps languidly slid across the mud, the snicker following. Gradually, this snicker turned into a small laugh. 

“Ha… ha ha… heh… ha ha… haha…”

It echoed throughout the room. It was an almost jolly laugh. Almost. It had a sinister ring to it that would have alarmed any human listening. Like someone laughing at a child falling over and injuring themselves. 

_Swish swish. Slop_

“Hehe… hahah… haaaa haha… ha… heh ha…”

The ominous laugh slowly intensified, chilling the room. The footsteps continued to slide across the floor. Slide. Slide and slide. They slid and slid and slid, and the mud continued to slop and slop. And slop. The sticky, warm mud. The gooey mud covering the wooden floorboards.

“Haha… ha…”

_Click_

A dim light flooded the room. Immediately visible was a red chair made of wood. It was a sturdy-looking chair, and it was covered in metal. Metal chains.

“Hee hee…”

On this chair was a lump of meat. The meat did not seem to have been cleaned, however. Deep crimson blood was leaking out of it. Off the chair. Down the chair legs. Onto the floor. All over the floorboards.

“Hahahahaha ha ha… he he hee heeeeee hahahahaha…”

The floorboards. Covered in gooey red blood. Sticky red blood. Warm red blood. Blood that went up to the ankles of the form standing in the centre of the room. The monster covered in pink and red. The monster that was holding a metal contraption. _Clang_. _Clang_. _Squelch_. _Clang_. The _clang_ of metal rang bounced off the walls and rang throughout the room. _Drip_. Red blood dripped, and dripped, and continued to drip from the filthy spanner. The filthy spanner covered in red blood and pink flesh. The spanner being used to…

“Hahahahahahahaha, hee hee, you looooooook so squishy dad. Mayyyyyybe you need a niiiice warm shoooooower, hee hahaha. Remember when you blessed me with those wooooonderful black and blue patches, and made me hide them and waaaaaash them all away. Ohhhh the stinging felt sooo goooood. A good son must repay their parents for _all_ their kindness,” the figure staggered and slowly raised the instrument into the air, “at least one hundred times over! Hahahahahahahaha, haha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

_SQUELCH_

* * *

“Ahh.. ahhh… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Kazuichi let out a high-pitched piercing scream. He screamed and he screamed. Tears ran down his cheeks, his body was drenched in a thick sweat, and his pale white hand tightly clung to the spanner, veins sticking out.

“I-It’s not me! It’s not me! It’s not me it’s not me it’s not me it’s not me it’s not me it’s not me it’s not me! It’s not me! I wasn’t there! I didn’t do that! It isn’t…” he slammed the spanner against the ground, “it isn’t my memoryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!”

His throat soon grew hoarse, and his screams turned into sobbing.

“W-why… I d-didn’t want this… i-it isn’t, _sob_ , f-fair that I have these memories. Just… please t-take …” Kazuichi’s sobbing turned into a whine, “take them, _hick_ away from me. P-pleeeeease…”

After a few minutes, his energy was sapped away, and he passed out on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that ended up being a more intense chapter than I intended. I have a bit too much fun depicting insanity. I was pretty experimental with the narrating of the flashback scene, so I hope that wasn't too annoying to read.
> 
> Anyway, I'd written the first 1.5 chapters in advance so I won't be able to publish this at this pace regularly. I don't really have a particular schedule in mind since I'm, well, terrible at following schedules, but I'll try to push out a chapter at least once a week. As for how long this will end up being, I honestly have no idea, but rest assured I do have a lot planned. Thank you for reading!


	3. Will you accept my pact?

No light. No sound. No touch. Floating in world of nothingness; a world of oblivion. Everything had lost its meaning. Nothing remained. Floating endlessly in an eternal darkness, where nothing mattered, and only pure apathy existed. A world without hate but without love. A world without lies but without truth. And a world without despair, but without hope. Abandon the mind, and nothing will be felt again. This is how it should be. This is how it should stay.

“K……..i”

A call from beyond the void.

“..zu..chi”

It grows louder.

“K…ichi”

It drags him out of the world.

“Kazuichi!”

And thus Kazuichi awoke.

“…Hajime?”

Hajime let out a relieved sigh. “Dude, are you ok? I just found you unconscious three minutes ago, and you wouldn’t wake up no matter how much I shook you.”

“I’m fine… it’s no big deal.” Kazuichi arched his back forward into a sitting position, eyes half-vacant.

“You don’t look that way at all. Did something happen? You don’t look physically injured.”

“Shouldn’t you be able to tell with your, erm, Ultimate Doctor powers?”

Hajime sighed. “I wish. I can’t control him enough to use his talents whenever.”

Now that his mind was clearer, Kazuichi noticed Hajime had cut his hair, and was dressed like he was in the Neo World Program. On top of this, his eye colour looked duller than before. They no longer shone brightly, and no longer pierced through him. He hadn’t been able to pinpoint the feeling earlier, but it had felt like he was naked before Hajime; all his vulnerabilities exposed by that ruthless red glow. He let his shoulders down and began to relax.

“It… was a dream. From when I was a remnant.”

“I see…”

“It was when I… I killed…” Kazuichi gulped and began to tremble slightly.

Hajime sat down opposite him. “You don’t have to force yourself to say anything dude.”

“No, I can’t keep this stuff inside me forever. I’ll just have more nightmares if I don’t let it out.”

Hajime nodded empathetically. “I… kind of understand honestly. I’ll listen then.”

“Thanks man.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Kazuichi slowly preparing himself. A gentle gust of wind blew, the dead trees crackled, and pebbles gently tumbled across the dark wasteland. The faint sound of a seagull’s cry could be heard from the distance. It felt as if they were the only two in the world.

“I killed my dad.”

A powerful wave crashed down, spray fluttering through the air.

“Kazuichi…”

“It doesn’t feel real. Felt like someone else was doing it. They were so cruel… it wasn’t a normal way of killing someone.”

Kazuichi clenched his fist, before quickly relaxing and releasing it. “My dad was a bit of a dick. He acted like he loved me and mom, but he’d lose his temper a lot,” he said, his hand automatically moving towards his left-upper back. “I didn’t really like him that much honestly. Sometimes I hated him, and wanted him dead. But… I don’t think he deserved that.”

Hajime slowly nodded, listening silently.

“I keep trying to pretend it’s someone else. Like someone else killed my dad, so I can get pissed at them. But even though that evil despair-addict was nothing like me… they were still me. Even I can’t trick myself into not believing that. But it’s scary, y’know? Seeing yourself so far gone – it’s too scary.”

He paused, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

“I know it was Junko’s fault, and she did this to hundreds and hundreds of normal people. But, it’s not like I was brainwashed. I… was convinced by her, and believed spreading despair was the only answer. It was like I finally understood a truth I didn’t know about for my whole life… a crazy revelation that answered everything. It’s scary how perfectly she took advantage of my weaknesses. But more than anything,” he clenched his fist, “it was ‘cause of my own weakness. I blamed all my problems on the world, and tried to destroy it in return. If suffering kept trying to drag me down, then why don’t I accept it? Why can’t suffering be the answer? Why can’t I embrace it, let it gobble me up, and spread it to everyone? I actually thought like that. I can’t believe it, I don’t want to believe it, but I definitely thought like that. If the Neo World Program rehabilitation didn’t save me… where would I be? Shooting kids to death? Blowing up shelters with Monokuma robots and torturing the survivors?”

His fingernails dug deeper, and deep red started dripping from his fist. He opened his hand and started licking it.

“This taste… I tasted it so many times. It wasn’t just when I cut myself to embrace despair. It was from people I killed… people I didn’t kill... anywhere I could find it. I think I was hoping to catch a disease and die. All for despair. Just to let it fill me up. It’s really crazy how much changing your perspective changes you.”

He brushed a red dribble from his mouth, leaving a faint smudge. Hajime looked at him with concern.

“I… I’d be lying if I said I fully understood,” he interjected. “For me, it was more like a different person had invaded my head, and I’d been sleeping in the recesses of my mind the entire time. Actually, it didn’t even feel like a normal person, more like… maybe the embodiment of talent? Someone who understood too much of the world, and stopped caring about it. I really can’t relate to them or connect myself to their actions…”

“You’re lucky Hajime,” Kazuichi gave a weak smile, “you don’t have to regret your actions like the rest of us, because none of it’s your fault. You… actually have the right to live and get happiness. Not bear the grudges and curses of millions.” He laughed self-derisively.

“But even so, I can’t abandon all responsibility. Even though the Hope’s Peak Academy I admired did this to me, he still exists within me. He might not have committed any truly atrocious acts, but his apathy…”

A picture of a blood-covered girl impaled in spikes flashed in his mind, begging for her life. “It was truly atrocious. I have to repay her, and beg for her forgiveness no matter what.”

Kazuichi knew what Hajime was talking about, and remained silent.

“I might not have any right to say this, but we can’t hate ourselves and live in despair. Even though you did far more terrible things than me, and have burdens nobody should have to bear, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a future to believe in. More than anything, we need to forgive ourselves, and live for ourselves. Even if the whole world despises us and wants us to live in the worst way possible, we can’t live self-destructive and suicidal lives.”

“I… want to believe you,” Kazuichi spoke softly, “but… it’s not any easy thing to do, y’know? Forgiving myself… I can’t even imagine. It’s a reality so far away from where I am, I can’t see it. But I want it. I want it so bad, to move on from everything and go back to those happy days. Can… can I really be free like that? I don’t know what to believe in.”

“Then let’s form a pact,” Hajime stretched his hand out, “a pact to make sure we stop regretting the past, and live our lives for the future. Even if it takes one month, one year, ten years, or even one hundred years, we _will_ learn to love ourselves and no longer despair.”

“…and if we break that pact? What’s the punishment?”

Hajime grinned. “There isn’t any. No point in having a punishment if we have a 100% chance of success. Once you make this pact, it’s impossible for you not to fulfil it. No matter how much you try to give up, you’ll fulfil it in the end.”

“Is this what Izuru is telling you with his Ultimate Promise Keeper powers?”

Hajime laughed. “Nope, he’s still sleeping.”

“In that case,” Kazuichi returned a grin, “I’m gonna accept. I dunno how this will work out, or how it’s possible, but I’ll accept it anyway.”

The two shook hands, and an even stronger bond was formed between them. Almost as if in response, a pack of wolves howled in the distance, and the moon began to rise.

“By the way Hajime, when did those guys want to leave again?”

“Hmm,” Hajime looked at his watch, “in about 20 minutes.”

“Ah, 20 minutes… OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRAAAAAAAAAP!!!”

With a leap, Kazuichi launched into his tools, desperately trying to conceive a plan to finish an hour’s worth of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this ended up taking so long, had some things going on in life and I wasn't really in the right state to write something like this. Anyway, I hope this chapter was ok to read! I really enjoyed writing this one, the bond between Kazuichi and Hajime is super underrated imo so I'm happy I got the chance to expand upon it. Next chapter shouldn't take as long as this one to come out, although uni is pretty busy rn so keeping to a weekly schedule might not be possible.


	4. Delicious Food

“…it… it’s finished…”

The panting Kazuichi collapsed onto the hard wooden floor, covered in sweat. It wasn’t easy, but by pushing his Ultimate Mechanic skills to their limit, he was able to finish the task three minutes early.

“Oh, you’re done? I was going to tell them we’d be later than expected,” said Hajime.

“Don’t… don’t underestimate the Ultimate Mechanic,” said Kazuichi, pointing a thumb towards his exhausted smug grin.

“By the way, shouldn’t you do something about that?”

“…huh…about what?”

“That,” Hajime repeated, pointing at Kazuichi’s garmentless body.

Kazuichi’s puzzlement quickly turned into panic. “Oh crap, when did that happen?!” He quickly scanned the room, and noticed various clothing articles spread haphazardly across the floor, on the seats, and outside on top of the sand.

Hajime shrugged. “Not sure, but you should probably do something about it. Actually, since when did you have this kind of habit? I know you’re a pervert, but I didn’t know it was this bad.”

“H-Hajime, you’re a terrible bro,” he said tearfully, sluggishly scooping up his clothing one-by-one.

Hajime ignored him and turned his head outside the boat, noticing silhouette’s in the distance. “Oh, looks like they’re a few minutes away. Should I pick up the ones on the sand?”

“AIEEEEEEE!” Kazuichi screamed, attempting in vain to force his shirt down his torso – thick sweat gluing the fabric to his skin, and creating friction whenever he pulled.

After twenty seconds of watching this tragic display, Hajime sighed. “Fine, since you’re apparently five and can’t get dressed on your own, I’ll help.”

They both hurriedly worked to dress Kazuichi’s upper and lower body, barely finishing before the three arrived.

“Hm, I see the bare minimum level of work has been accomplished.”

Byakuya entered the boat and assessed the damaged parts, with a surprised Kyoko and Makoto following behind.

“Very impressive, you perfectly fixed everything in an extremely short amount of time. I expected this to take at least another few hours.”

“But um Kyoko,” Makoto whispered, “then why did you ask him to finish it now?”

“Encouragement,” she responded with a wink. Makoto felt a cold shiver up his spine.

“You two are easily satisfied with your low expectations as always. We need to test the engine first before offering any praise.”

“But Byakuya, he worked so hard to fix it. We should believe in the Ultimate Mechanic’s abilities.”

“Hmph, as naïve as ever I see.”

Makoto pouted in response.

Watching this display, Kazuichi leaned over and whispered into Hajime’s ear. “Uh, I’ve been thinking this for a while, but doesn’t that Makoto guy remind you of someone?”

Hajime nodded. “Yeah, even though he’s a lot less… crazy, it’s still pretty creepy. Their names are even anagrams of each other…”

Kazuichi did some calculations in his head, and quickly shuddered. “MA-KO-TO na-e-gi, KO-MA-e-Da na-gi-TO… holy crap you’re right. That’s scary man…”

Annoyed at the situation, Byakuya marched over to the driver’s seat, and began accelerating the boat. Kyoko watched on amused.

“Hey uh Byakuya, haven’t you forgotten something,” said Makoto nervously.

“I know what you’re referring to, but he’ll have to make do,” he responded coldly, glancing at Kazuichi’s pale face.

“OHHHH HELLL NOOOOOO!”

The boat flew into the horizon at full speed, a silhouette frothing at the mouth and hanging over the rails visible from the distance.

* * *

_Chew. Chew. Chew._

“Food is a wonderful thing. Most life requires it to survive, but humans have found ways to change it into a pleasurable pastime, and a form of art. One can become a chef, which allows them to develop a career and earn money from making food that exists purely for pleasure.”

_Chew. Chew. Chew._

“Sweet. Salty. Sour. Spicy. Bitter. Savoury. Fatty. Unami. Calcium-rich. Starchy. Light. Heavy. Crunchy. Crumbly. Chewy. Squishy. So many wonderful flavours! So many wonderful textures! A chef can master these, and create perfect meals which send your tongue into a mouth-watering heaven.”

_Chew. Chew. Splutter. Chew._

“Isn’t it amazing?! It’s totally amazing right?! So many! So many so many so many so many so many so many! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sooooooooooo maaaaaaaany. I’m like, totally watering at the mouth right now. Look at this drool! Look at these ferocious hungry eyes! Ahhh I’m so jealous of chefs. So jealous at them, so jealous so jealous, ah I’m so jealous of their potential.”

_Squelch. Squish. Chew._

“To have such delicious combinations… and to be completely denied them! To have food that exists for highly intelligent humans… and to be treated like an animal! Ahhhhhh the despair! So much potential for beautiful wonderful gorgeous lovely incredibly despair-inducing despair! The potential for chefs to spread despair by denying us! The potential for chefs to spread despair by being slaughtered, and forcing us to eat like filthy animals! No delicious tastes, no regular meals, no avoiding starvation, no table manners, no utensils, no balanced diet, no nutrients… it’s beautiful. I’m literally drooling all over right now. Ahhhhhh I love chefs from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for existing chefs! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you so muuuuuuuuuch!”

_Chew. Squish. Splutter. Squelch. Chew. Squish. Squish. Chew. Chew. Chew._

“Do you finally understand Akane? You get it right? Right right right right right? Starving yourself for two weeks, malnourishing yourself and denying all nutrients. Denying those wonderful chefs! And then when you can’t take it any longer, and your body has no choice but to eat…”

It was a party. A party of animals. Dogs, lions, tigers, wolves, hyenas, vultures, and many more. A wonderful zoo.

It was also a unique zoo. The animals were actually humans role-playing. They had been sent back to their younger days, where they would play games, pretending to be animals living in the jungle. However, they were adults now. They knew more than mere children. They could roleplay the animals more faithfully, and understand their true nature.

And what do carnivorous animals do? They eat meat. Large amounts of meat. Not elegant beautifully-prepared meat served by the finest chefs, but pure meat. Pure chef meat.

They were eating pure chef meat.

_Crack._

Akane was finally able to crush the smooth round skull with her sharp shark-like teeth. Whether bones were edible was irrelevant. It wasn’t even a notable concern. All she desired was sustenance.

When Akane was able to escape poverty through the large sums of money she earnt from her Ultimate Gymnast talent, the first task she set out to accomplish was visiting an all-you-can-eat restaurant. She had always dreamed of visiting such a place, however it was never feasible to eat more than her family needed to survive due to monetary concerns. She was finally able to eat, and eat, and eat with no limits other than the one hour time limit. It was undeniably the best single hour of her life.

Every single scene of this experience was etched into her memory, including the face of the wonderful chef who single-handedly prepared every meal she requested. She could vividly remember it at this very moment. His slightly pudgy and round head. His brown delicate eyes. His fat-lipped mouth. It was as if it were right in front of her. Covered in red. Covered in holes. Covered in teeth marks, torn to pieces, split in two, crushed into little bits, and entering the wide mouth of a filthy dog. The filthy dog known as Akane.

“No choice but to eat… and rip the hand that feeds us to shreds!” said Junko, enthusiastically stomping on what looked like the left half of a torso.

A girl with dressed in military gear with a hefty gun slung over her shoulder sighed. “Junko, we’ve been in this chef academy for five hours now. The mission to eliminate all 3654 was completed two hours ago. Shouldn’t we move on?”

Junko froze, and slowly turned her head towards her sister. “Lame. So lame. Why do I have such a lame sister?”

Spit flew directly towards Mukuro’s eyes. Milliseconds before it hit, she came to decide that avoiding this would bring more despair to her sister than leaving her face dripping with spit, and thus she quickly leapt out of the way.

The annoyed Junko pointed at Akane and the other despairs she had converted just five hours ago. “Can’t you see how much they’re enjoying this? Savouring the moment, relishing the joys of eating for the first time in weeks… can’t you see it? Can’t you appreciate the beauty here?”

Mukuro shrugged. She was about to say this was boring for her and she had seen this in hundreds of battlefields already, but doing this would only send her sister into another frenzied rant, so she wisely stopped herself.

Akane ignored this and continued to chew. Chew and chew and chew. Water flowing out, and fresh air touching her face. Her eyelids covering her eyes.

“Wait, huh?”

The memory immediately ended, and she was embraced by reality.

* * *

Flying in from the horizon, the boat tumbled and tossed across the rough sea, showers of spray splatting onto the deck. Kyoko and Byakuya sat in the passenger seats, with Makoto at the wheel. After thirty minutes, Byakuya had become tired of driving, but instead of kindly asking Makoto to take over, he of course demanded Makoto fulfil his duty instead of lazing about in the passenger seats. Meanwhile Hajime was on the deck, resuscitating the lifeless Kazuichi.

“Hmph, not bad,” said Byakuya, “your ability to drive a boat is as above average as always. Perhaps I should consider hiring you as my personal driver after this.”

“Uh, I’ll considering it,” said Makoto, focussing on the dangerous waves.

Kyoko watched on, staring at Makoto’s firm and reliable back. “He’s not wrong though, you’re surprisingly good at driving boats Makoto. I expected you to flounder around and crash in three seconds the first time you tried,” she chuckled.

“Hey, I’m not that unreliable,” said the annoyed Makoto. “Besides, I really like boats.”

Hajime began to shudder for unknown reasons.

“Hmm, you might be more reliable now, if only a bit,” said Kyoko, as she stood up and began to lean on Makoto’s shoulders. “You’re still as short as you were years ago, but your shoulders feel much sturdier.”

“H-Hey K-K-Kyoko…” said Makoto, his face turning flushed pink.

Kyoko ignored him and dipped her head forward, her luscious pink lips brushing against his ear. “What is it, Mr Naegi? Would you like some assistance?” she said, stretching her slender hands towards the wheel, and firmly grasping Makoto’s.

Makoto began to tremble with a mix of anticipation and nervousness, before the boat suddenly shook violently.

“You two, stop!” yelled Byakuya, but it was too late. They had hit a rock, and the boat swung right, various bags and medical equipment flying off shelves and scattering over the floor. Kazuichi almost flew off the boat, but Hajime thankfully managed to grab him in time, clinging to the rails and slowly dragging him back in.

“Balghvalghblablablaval,” said Kazuichi incomprehensibly, foam dripping from his mouth.

“And _hngh_ , you’re in,” said Hajime, as Kazuichi flopped over him and onto his shoulder.

Byakuya had flown off his seat, and was lying on the side wall. “You fools, save that for your private quarters!” he said, hitching himself up and slowly walking back to the passenger seats. “Now I hope you haven’t developed an inconvenient injuries thanks to your own lack of-” he froze mid-sentence, and looked down at the situation that had unfolded before him.

Makoto was lying face-up across the two passenger seats, his arms and legs messily spread out like a starfish. Normally this would be a relatively easy position to recover from, however this was not the case here. Kyoko was spread over him face-down, her thighs squeezing against both sides of Makoto’s hips and abdomen, and her hands pressing his upper-arms down, locking him in place. Their faces were only a few inches away, lips almost touching.

“…Kyoko, could you climb off me now? I can’t move,” said Makoto.

The stunned Kyoko froze in position, before instantly turning beet red and leaping off Makoto. “S-Sorry Makoto, i-it seems like I fell down on the wrong position.”

“Yeah… you sure did,” said Makoto, slowly standing himself up off the chair.

“Hmph, what a cliché,” said Byakuya, “my eyes might roll out of my skull.”

“I feel like it’s usually the other way around though,” muttered Hajime to the half-dead Kazuichi.

“A-Anyway,” said Kyoko brushing her clothes down, “it would be best if you continued driving for the remainder, Byakuya.”

“It’s rare to see you lose your composure like this,” Byakuya snickered, “but yes, I suppose the only competent human here should take responsibility for your foolish actions.”

Kyoko turned away to hide her embarrassment, and Byakuya smugly leapt into the driver’s seat, quickly restarting the engine and continuing their journey. The waves began to calm down, and the boat slowly rocked from side to side. Makoto and Kyoko gradually picked up the items scattered across the ground, piece by piece, while also desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

After a few minutes, Hajime left Kazuichi strewn out across the ground, and looked at the approaching island. “Hey, I think I see two silhouettes.”

Byakuya frowned. “There shouldn’t be anyone else in that area of the island.”

“No… actually there could be,” said Hajime, beginning to smile.

Kazuichi sluggishly dragged himself off the ground and walked towards Hajime. “You don’t mean…”

“Hey _munch munch_ gmahuys, _chew chew_ itsmmm amsch!” yelled a familiar tanned girl, stuffing her mouth with huge piles of ham.

A short boy with an eye patch looked at her with annoyance. “Stop eating you idiot, they won’t be able to fucking understand you.”

Kazuichi leapt in the air with excitement. “They’re awake!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This longer chapter was brought to you by the union of procrastination. Also I'm so happy to finally write some dialogue for Junko! I find her really fun to write about.


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